We all have memories that we would rather forget. They can be painful, embarrassing, or just plain awkward. But even though recalling them may not be fun, those memories still contain important messages for us. We need to learn from our past experiences in order to grow and become better people. So next time you’re tempted to push a memory away, try to reflect on what it’s trying to tell you. You may be surprised at what you find out.
It’s important to understand the messages our memories are sending us.
We all have memories that we keep close to our hearts. They can be from happy times or from tough experiences, but they always hold some significance for us. It’s important to understand the messages our memories are sending us, because they can help guide us in our lives. If we remember a time when we were really proud of ourselves, it can give us the boost we need to tackle a new challenge. If we remember a time when we were really hurt, it can help us be more understanding with others who are going through tough times. Our memories are reflections of who we are and what we’ve been through, so it’s worth taking the time to reflect on them and see what they’re telling us.
We can’t change the past, but we can use its lessons to make positive changes in our lives.
I’d like to share a vulnerable memory with you just in hopes that in hearing my memory you are able to sit with your own difficult memory a little easier.
I can remember a time in my childhood when I was 14 years old. My parents said we were going on a family trip. My dad worked with someone who had a home in the country and we were invited for a visit. I can recall being excited despite the fact that I was an obnoxious teenager who was trying to heal abuse through drugs and alcohol. I was feeling ok about giving up my weekend with friends to go on this family trip. My excitement was growing as we drove for a few hours and I observed the change of scenery from city life to mountains and rivers.
When we got to where we were supposed to be going, reality shifted quickly for me. I learned that this was really a place for troubled teens. Before I could recover from the shock my parents drove off in the car leaving me completely off guard in this unfamiliar place. They thought they were loving me and helping me by sending me here but the results of their efforts only resulted in reinforcing feelings of mistrust and abandonment.
The pattern continued when I experienced an unplanned pregnancy at 15 and placed a child for adoption. I was strongly influenced to stay at a home for unwed mothers. Here I struggled with abandonment in a whole new way.
For the most part I lived my life able to forget the trip to the farm and bury the pain of the adoption. Obviously, I have not been successful in forgetting nor are these memories fully buried all these years later.
Memories have a way of showing up unexpectedly and seemingly unrelated to what we are experiencing in the moment.
I’ve been working hard at creating a space for women to work through the hard stuff they too encounter on the business journey. As I do the things that are required in building a business I have noticed my own personal life popping up at interesting times and places.
Just recently when out of nowhere I recalled this trip to the farm and when I did I decided to meet the memory in a new way.
Instead of avoiding the memory and just stuffing it back down I decided to validate it. I gave these memories a moment to be seen and heard.
I sat with them awhile and wondered what I might take from my time here.
As I tuned in closely, I heard the whisper from my higher self who was thankful for the opportunity to share a bigger truth with me. I will share the message I received in case it holds a few clues for you as well.
” Kim, sometimes you are afraid that people will bring you to the door of joy and then just abandon you there. You fear you might find out you were deceived or you were mistaken about their true intentions.
This fear holds you back from intimacy.
It keeps you guarded so you can always maintain a sense of control.
You keep looking to validate it by expecting life to always show up this way.
It’s no longer necessary to carry the heaviness of this fear. You can let it go now.
You are not a child who has no ability to redirect or change courses.
Life for you today is full of possibilities and choices.
People are arriving to help you and to join you on the journey not to leave you there and walk away.
You are not the child you were back then. You are the adult who has a life of possibility and choice before her today.
Go after it. Let go of the fears
Stop letting them distract you.
Life is so much bigger.
There is so much out there for you to yet experience but if you keep holding back you’ll never find it.
If you keep resisting authenticity the intimacy you long for can’t flow.
It’s time to stop holding yourself back.
Its time to step into this big beautiful journey and find out what you are called to do next. Stop holding back your gift from a world who desperately needs what only you can offer them because only you has had your exact experiences. I love you and I am always here for you when you take the time to check in.”
– With Love, Your Memory.
When we face our painful memories and understand their messages, we can begin to heal emotionally and mentally.
Anytime I meet a woman who has truly “made it” in life, I can’t help but wonder what she’s had to overcome. What kind of painful memories or experiences has she faced and managed to learn from?
It seems that the most successful women are also the ones who have walked through fire and come out stronger on the other side. When we are open to sitting with and exploring the idea of understanding our painful memories we are met with the opportunity to see how they can be messages for us, instead of just torturing us.
It’s not easy to face our painful memories, but by doing so we can learn from them and grow as individuals. If you struggle with this process, know that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you through the healing process. Remember, it is never too late to work on yourself and become the best possible version of yourself. How have your painful memories helped you grow as a person?
If you are being held back from stepping into a bigger vision as a result of memories holding you back we should talk.
I’ve got some interesting perspectives to share with you. Schedule some time with me here