Written by Kim Noeth
Do I truly want the same experiences in my personal relationships in life that I want in my business relationships?
I had an opportunity to step away from life for a few days and embark on a three day journey. I’ve been to the same destination numerous times before but this time I was going to see the place in a brand new way. The brochure and word of mouth pretty much guaranteed that I would never see life with the same perspective again. Who could resist an offer like that? Especially not now and definitely not me.
Prior to leaving, I had this deep sense of knowing that this trip would help me in a profound way. My intuition whispered this unspoken promise beckoning me to the place that held some insight as to why I show up for life the way that I do. Why I feel so unclear and stuck.
I put an immense amount of pressure on myself beforehand to be sure I fully showed up with the utmost attentiveness and willingness to grow. Some obstacles tried to get in the way which for the most part I was able to handle. I incorporated my usual strategies and up I went!
The mode of transport was a magical carpet that took me above my life where I could see things from another perspective.
When we first took off it was different than I expected it to be. I looked around at the others who also signed up for the journey. I thought to myself how interesting that these complete strangers are about to become intimate catalysts to my growth.
As I listened deeply and engaged in the activities which were meant to teach me new things, I had to continually turn down the volume on my inner conversation. It was going wild! Everything from: “What did I get myself into?” “Did I really sign up for this?” “I thought I was just going to sit here comfy in my seat and learn” “These people are just playing with my emotions” and the famous “I want to go home, I don’t like this anymore” along with quite a few F-bombs that were flying high in my mind.
It was a chaotic scene that thankfully only I was privy to.
Or so I thought.
Throughout the three days on this carpet ride I was given the opportunity to choose to see my life and how I show up for it in a new way. I deliberately used the words “opportunity” and “choose” because both were fully present throughout the journey.
Initially I went on this journey hoping to get clarity in my business life and as it turns out I got an immense dose of clarity on life in general. I guess you could say I chose to take the red pill and now that I did I can never go back.
Not that I want to.
Well that’s true and it’s also not true.
Some days I grow extremely weary of my awareness in how I am always performing in life and how others are always performing too. We all have our show. We think it’s an inner show but truth be told it’s an outer show too. A reality sitcom with non-stop episodes and plenty of reruns.
What do you do when decades later you see life from a whole new way? AND You see yourself and others from a whole new way too?
Perhaps you just show up and listen profoundly and as you see the patterns and the stories that people continually operate from you remember that before the magic carpet ride you were caught up in the story too. You love bigger from this place because you recognize you are only one step back in the past away from showing up in life that same way again.
It was an interesting journey and I wanted to leave with a few tokens of remembrance so I took back a few souvenirs that I’d like to vulnerably share with you:
- Team matters- I had to reach out to my friends at home for support when I wanted to turn back on the journey and go home. They kept me moving forward even in the pain and confusion.
- Intention is everything- If I am not clear on it I get lost and confused and doubt my vision. From this place I get busy doing things and thinking they are not enough so I do more things.
- Life is calling me to be more and do less. In order to follow its call I have to truly believe in my value and worth to just BE and not DO. This is a new practice for me and one that I am committed to for the rest of my life.
With new memories to savor, souvenirs in tow, and new friends made, I spent the carpet ride back home reflecting on what I had learned and how determined I was to show up in my business from this new place of “being” instead of “doing”. With a new purpose in my heart and mind I was certain that I wanted the clients that I work with to feel Connection, Acceptance and Freedom. Yes, all three. These things felt good. I was proud of my new goal.
Until….. a friend exposed some of my inner show and challenged me to go a little deeper to ask myself if I want those same attributes in my personal life as well as my business life? Ouch. The inner conversation tunes in and starts up where it left off.
Thanks…friend.. but um.. didn’t you hear me say I’ve been to war and back and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do any more introspecting for a while? Wasn’t that enough growth for a decade?
Hmmmmm. I quickly tune in and lower the volume. There’s my story and my show playing once again. It’s streaming live and I can’t help but hear its deafening sound. It’s loud and clear.
I definitely blame the carpet ride.
So what do I do with this challenge?
I dig deeper.
I go back up on the magic carpet and I take a brand new look.
Do I truly want to feel connected, accepted and experience freedom in my personal relationships in life as well as in my business? The easy answer is yes but the hard answer is yes too. I know what’s at stake and even though I know what’s to gain as well it’s the “at stake” part that feels so overwhelming. The reality of this desire forces me to do the work from a vulnerable place that I try not to visit more often than necessary.
I reflect back on some intriguing insights that my recent journey magnified for me. I see the “alone” presence that has been a strong part of my life since childhood. Yuck. This feels bad but I stay with it because it’s just one observation. As I look deeper, I see my desire to be accepted and to experience true intimacy and freedom. That is going to take exposure and more vulnerability. EEWWW! This feels even worse but I sit with it because I know from this place new things can arise. I want new things all around for myself and for others.
Suddenly I reflected on the best gift of all that this experience gave me. It was a model and picture of what that connection, acceptance, intimacy and freedom actually look like. Prior to the trip I only had pictures of massive amounts of effort with little reward, dysfunction, broken promises and pride.
I think of the others who did the journey with me and it inspires me to stay with it.
My new awareness wonders…What if this new perspective doesn’t actually feel like work? What if it’s easier and maybe it’s tied to “being” and not doing?
Being present, Being Open. Being real.
What if that is actually easier than living from the place of doing?
So what’s next for me?
Maybe I will go deep sea diving.
I’m not sure yet but I am committed to finding out. I hope you’ll consider taking a ride on the carpet with me some time. The sights are beautiful and they are truly life changing!